I'm just trying to get some work done.
- Why does this thing have to come up every damn time I start Illustrator? (I could swear I've turned it off in Preferences about 6 times, yet it's never stopped doing it.)
- Why does it seem to time out about 9 times out of 10?
- Why should it hang the app when it fails?
- Why the FUCK am I writing some damn blog entry while I watch a spinning beach ball that should be my Illustrator canvas?
Addendum: (10 minutes later) When your piece-of-shit Adobe application actually does time out on its clever XML-update-over-the-wire to Adobe's-slicker-than-snot-application-server, and finally allows your crummy little application to start so you can start your mind-numbingly dull day-job-busy-work for the week... When that happens -- don't bother going into Illustrator Preferences, and finding the 'Online Preferences' panel. Cause when you do, you'll inevitably set the app to Check for Updates 'Never':
But then you'll get curious.
What the hell is that compelling little button that says 'Updates..." Will that maybe bring up a settings dialog that will really make my piece of crap Adobe application stop talking to some piece of crap Adobe server?
And you'll click it.
And then you'll realize that it's just a manual trigger that kicks off the SAME DAMN PROCESS that got you digging in the app preferences anyway. And Now your effin' application is trying to hit some (apparently, non-existent) server to pull down some piece of XML (that probably would've said 'No Updates to Application' anyway.)
And you're watching god-damn 'Beachball Pt. II: Reloaded'
I sat down to work in Illustrator at 10:45. It is now 11:07. My day is officially shot.
Fuck you Adobe.