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To the researchers working in the Vatican Secret Archives

[I]t is absolutely forbidden to use mobile telephones inside the Archives.” Thank G-d somebody has finally taken a stand!

And here are the rules for visiting the Archives. I'm amused by No. 6 - “Undergraduate students usually are not admitted into the Archives.”

It puts me in mind of an anecdote from my days at BGSU, perhaps apocryphal, wherein a hapless student checks out a copy of the script from the final episode of M*A*S*H.

(Bowling Green's Popular Culture Library is world-renowned, and a real mind-trip -- more vintage porn than your granddad's basement, copies of every TV Guide ever published (eat your heart out, Frank Costanza), vinyl LPs by the stackful. And that doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.)

But I digress.

So our student, still lacking hap, checks out an original copy of the final MASH script. In fact, it is Alan Alda's own personal copy of the final script, complete with his penciled scrawlings in the margin. (“emote here”, “laugh raucously”, that kind of stuff, I'm guessing. Will somebody keep that damn chicken quiet?!) So this pinhead starts scrawling his own assignment notes in the margins.

This is bad. And, according to legend, it is the singular event that led to the tightening of access to the Pop Culture collection at ol' Jerome liberry.

“All materials are retrieved for users by staff members and must be used in the Library's reading room.”

Which takes a hell of a lot of the thrill out of looking at vintage porn. Er.. Um.. Yeah. No thanks.

(I also heard it was because someone ripped off a first-printing of Eastman and Laird's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Damn undergrads -- maybe the Vatican is onto something.)

Comments (2)

Here's the Soldier Ant bonus round: click on that M*A*S*H link and do a 'Find' for my name. Laugh at my gustatory exploits.


oi profities erxontai tekna tou theou kai opoios katalave ...... exo plirofories

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on March 31, 2003 11:04 PM.

The previous post in this blog was Brothers of Purity.

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