Soldier Ant 

This is an actual e-mail sent to the online editor of Premiere Magazine. Nothing has been edited:

Hello Dickheads,

In the words of Al Pacino as Tony Montana in Scarface, "Iz joo krazy?" Your 'Best 100 Action Movies on DVD' list is a slap in the face to anyone who owns a DVD player and/or a brain. Was this list a joke? If it wasn't, your publicaton definitely is. I kept expecting to see Forest Gump pop-up on your list. How did the Green Mile not make your Top Ten? If you think that Black Hawk Down deserves to be 69 spots ahead of Seven Samurai, and 71 spots ahead of Shaft, I wish I could hop in the Dolorean from the superior Back To Future II (which you miserable pimps dissed in your bullshit 'HomeGuide'), go back in time and repair your father's broken condom, or give your whore of a mother an IUD, cause you didn't deserve to be born! I ran out of toilet paper this morning, and I was gonna use your magazine to wipe my ass, but I realized that my ass deserved better, so I went out into my backyard and used a pine cone.

Regards,
Jamal Jason Hersi
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

P.S. - FUCK YOU!

'nuff said.